1 00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:14,013 Got to look good today. 2 00:00:14,089 --> 00:00:15,848 I'm asking Amy to the prom. 3 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,426 I meant school Amy. 4 00:00:19,503 --> 00:00:21,020 Not you, Amy. 5 00:00:21,096 --> 00:00:22,479 ♪ Oh ♪ 6 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,679 ♪ I said, are you gonna be my girl? ♪ 7 00:00:31,757 --> 00:00:32,889 Okay, just act cool. 8 00:00:32,891 --> 00:00:34,700 Hey, Amy, you promming? 9 00:00:34,777 --> 00:00:36,109 I... 10 00:00:36,186 --> 00:00:38,520 So, Amy, some of your hair got caught in your locker 11 00:00:38,597 --> 00:00:40,614 and I took it. No! No! God, no! 12 00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:43,450 Andrew, there's someone to see you! 13 00:00:46,397 --> 00:00:48,546 You've been served, starter stache. 14 00:00:48,624 --> 00:00:50,473 Wh-What is this, Dad? 15 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,142 That's a subpoena. 16 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:55,219 You've been called as a surprise witness in court today. 17 00:00:55,297 --> 00:00:56,554 I can't go to court. 18 00:00:56,632 --> 00:00:58,573 I spent all my after-school job money 19 00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:01,058 on a skywriting promposal. 20 00:01:01,136 --> 00:01:03,245 Testifying in court is a matter of duty and honor. 21 00:01:03,321 --> 00:01:06,473 Besides, everyone knows Amy is going to the prom with Josh. 22 00:01:08,143 --> 00:01:11,402 - ♪ Are you gonna be my girl? ♪ - _ 23 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,647 - ♪ Yeah. ♪ - _ 24 00:01:13,649 --> 00:01:15,315 Mr. Teen, isn't it true 25 00:01:15,317 --> 00:01:17,500 that while working as an employee of Builders' Barn, 26 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,153 you rented a backhoe to this man 27 00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:22,338 Homer J. Simpson? 28 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:23,417 Yes. 29 00:01:23,492 --> 00:01:25,175 And what reason did Mr. Simpson give 30 00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:26,918 for renting the machine? 31 00:01:26,995 --> 00:01:28,937 To quote, "dig a bitching swimming pool 32 00:01:29,014 --> 00:01:31,665 "in his backyard, then throw an awesome pool party 33 00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:33,608 and not invite Flanders." 34 00:01:33,685 --> 00:01:35,610 But in the process of digging the pool, 35 00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:38,596 Mr. Simpson destroyed local gas, sewer, 36 00:01:38,674 --> 00:01:41,524 and power lines, causing rolling blackouts 37 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,677 that affect Springfield to this... 38 00:01:44,727 --> 00:01:46,913 ...day. 39 00:01:49,351 --> 00:01:52,368 This man is so obviously incompetent 40 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:55,522 that he never should have been allowed to rent a backhoe. 41 00:01:55,524 --> 00:01:58,282 And that is why Mr. Simpson 42 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,210 is suing Builders' Barn. 43 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,695 He's suing us? 44 00:02:01,697 --> 00:02:03,213 Your Honor, I'd like to take over 45 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,864 the questioning, if I may. 46 00:02:04,866 --> 00:02:08,201 Mr. Simpson, only a fool has himself for a lawyer. 47 00:02:08,203 --> 00:02:10,562 That's exactly my point, sir. 48 00:02:12,557 --> 00:02:14,708 When Mr. Simpson, that is myself, 49 00:02:14,710 --> 00:02:16,968 rented the heavy machinery in question, 50 00:02:17,045 --> 00:02:20,396 isn't it true that my breath smelled strongly of beer... 51 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,306 as it does now? 52 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,735 I don't know what beer smells like. 53 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,087 I was going to have my first one ever 54 00:02:28,089 --> 00:02:29,889 at the after-prom party. 55 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,169 Homer can't even unfold a lawn chair. 56 00:02:34,246 --> 00:02:36,187 I don't think he understands doors. 57 00:02:36,264 --> 00:02:39,899 He's fat and lazy and carries diner jelly packs 58 00:02:39,901 --> 00:02:41,751 in his shirt pocket. 59 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,327 That's irrelevant and prejudicial. 60 00:02:43,405 --> 00:02:45,555 Let her speak! 61 00:02:45,925 --> 00:02:47,925 _ 62 00:02:47,926 --> 00:02:50,501 - Has the jury reached a verdict? - Yes. 63 00:02:50,579 --> 00:02:52,262 We're very disappointed this turned out 64 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:53,671 to be a real trial 65 00:02:53,749 --> 00:02:56,525 and not a hidden-camera comedy reality show. 66 00:02:56,601 --> 00:02:59,361 Also, we have no choice but to find for the plaintiff. 67 00:02:59,437 --> 00:03:01,437 - D'oh! - You're the plaintiff. 68 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,015 - Woo-hoo! - I've spent 25 years 69 00:03:04,092 --> 00:03:05,925 fighting for Lady Justice. 70 00:03:05,927 --> 00:03:08,519 Today I learned she's nothing but a painted tart, 71 00:03:08,597 --> 00:03:11,039 and I run the flophouse where she turns tricks. 72 00:03:11,116 --> 00:03:14,601 I award Mr. Simpson the minimum possible damages. 73 00:03:14,603 --> 00:03:16,861 $95. 74 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,938 Yes! Come on, everybody. 75 00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:22,275 Jury wave. 76 00:03:22,277 --> 00:03:24,511 No alternates. 77 00:03:26,757 --> 00:03:28,712 _ 78 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,116 Kids. 79 00:03:30,135 --> 00:03:32,635 Look what Daddy bought with his settlement money. 80 00:03:33,807 --> 00:03:35,546 Floatie noodles and pool balls? 81 00:03:35,624 --> 00:03:37,791 We don't have a pool, Homer. 82 00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:39,793 We have a hole, which you can't fix 83 00:03:39,795 --> 00:03:41,828 because the judge banned you from renting 84 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:44,406 any class A excavating equipment. 85 00:03:44,482 --> 00:03:46,466 It's now in the permanent court record 86 00:03:46,468 --> 00:03:48,134 that I married a buffoon. 87 00:03:48,136 --> 00:03:50,303 It was stipulated by all parties. 88 00:03:50,305 --> 00:03:53,156 On the plus side, Homer now has an entry on Wiccapedia. 89 00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:56,400 "Homer J. Simpson is the first American citizen 90 00:03:56,478 --> 00:03:59,236 to become a court-certified idiot"? 91 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:03,149 Wow, and it's not just a stub. 92 00:04:03,151 --> 00:04:05,168 The admin really put some time into it. 93 00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:08,655 Is this what you want your legacy on this planet to be? 94 00:04:08,657 --> 00:04:10,006 It's not just this. 95 00:04:10,008 --> 00:04:11,749 I got other stuff, like, uh... 96 00:04:11,827 --> 00:04:13,676 I fell into wet cement in front of the church 97 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,271 and left a very recognizable ass print. 98 00:04:16,348 --> 00:04:17,606 - Mind the print. - Aah! 99 00:04:17,682 --> 00:04:19,107 Mind the ass print. 100 00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:20,667 It's a big one. 101 00:04:20,669 --> 00:04:23,002 And, uh, well, uh, there's, uh... 102 00:04:23,004 --> 00:04:24,337 Ooh, I know. 103 00:04:24,339 --> 00:04:26,114 My legacy can be Lisa. 104 00:04:26,191 --> 00:04:27,857 She's my legacy. 105 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,844 Aw, I called dibs on Lisa in the delivery room. 106 00:04:30,846 --> 00:04:32,269 I saw her first. 107 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,542 Legacy... 108 00:04:39,528 --> 00:04:40,620 Who are you? 109 00:04:40,696 --> 00:04:41,713 Where am I? 110 00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:43,530 We're in the wonderful future. 111 00:04:43,608 --> 00:04:46,959 And I'm your guide, travel host and author Rick Steves. 112 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,947 Every Sunday night Lisa puts me on TV and you fall asleep. 113 00:04:50,949 --> 00:04:53,299 That's why you're sleeping right now. 114 00:04:54,953 --> 00:04:58,686 There's no better place for a perfect gratin dauphinois 115 00:04:58,721 --> 00:05:00,881 than on a train to Montrachet. 116 00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:03,217 Someday, Rick, someday. 117 00:05:03,294 --> 00:05:06,145 These statues honor the legacies of the many people 118 00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,907 who made a difference in Springfield. 119 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,415 Sleep sleeping? 120 00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:20,159 Legacy! Where's my statue? 121 00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,586 You don't have one. 122 00:05:21,663 --> 00:05:25,072 Because you've never done anything worth remembering. 123 00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,516 I bet Lenny doesn't have a legacy statue. 124 00:05:27,518 --> 00:05:29,802 Look what we're standing on right now. 125 00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:32,597 D'oh! 126 00:05:32,674 --> 00:05:35,491 Lenny invented invisible suspenders. 127 00:05:35,510 --> 00:05:37,843 Guess what's holding up my pants. 128 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,847 The point is, they're all remembered and you aren't. 129 00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,000 Now let me ask you something else. 130 00:05:44,002 --> 00:05:45,944 Have you donated to PBS this year? 131 00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:48,863 Never! 132 00:05:50,341 --> 00:05:52,525 Dumb, stupid, dumb. 133 00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:54,343 Abe, can you talk to him? 134 00:05:54,345 --> 00:05:56,621 He's been at the bottom of that hole for hours. 135 00:05:56,698 --> 00:05:59,624 I've been feeding him like a dolphin. 136 00:06:05,356 --> 00:06:09,300 So, what's got you sitting in a hole this time, son? 137 00:06:09,377 --> 00:06:10,876 No legacy. 138 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:13,120 The nearest the Simpsons ever came to a legacy 139 00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:15,381 was when my uncle had a soup named after him 140 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,957 at the chowder hall. 141 00:06:17,035 --> 00:06:20,036 A lot of people got sick from Stan soup. 142 00:06:20,038 --> 00:06:23,389 So stop your ninny-whimpling and get out of this hole. 143 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,650 Hey, you ruined my roundsie! 144 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,151 I ruin-sied your round-what? 145 00:06:27,228 --> 00:06:29,320 When the ball goes all the way around the walls, 146 00:06:29,397 --> 00:06:32,657 I call it a "roundsie." 147 00:06:32,734 --> 00:06:34,641 See? Roundsie. 148 00:06:34,719 --> 00:06:36,719 That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. 149 00:06:36,721 --> 00:06:38,663 Let me try. 150 00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:46,395 Whoa! 151 00:06:51,085 --> 00:06:53,252 Son, I never played catch with you 152 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,754 or tossed you a football 153 00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:56,589 or taught you how to ride a bike. 154 00:06:56,665 --> 00:06:58,499 I hate you, you monster! 155 00:06:58,576 --> 00:07:00,501 But now we have this. 156 00:07:00,578 --> 00:07:03,187 Yeah... you're all right. 157 00:07:03,264 --> 00:07:05,005 Noodles, balls? 158 00:07:05,083 --> 00:07:07,266 What do you call this wonderful game? 159 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:10,511 I don't know, but it's gonna be something really clever. 160 00:07:10,588 --> 00:07:12,679 We call it Noodleball. 161 00:07:12,757 --> 00:07:14,757 It's exercise without movement. 162 00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:16,592 It's safe for your brittle bones. 163 00:07:16,594 --> 00:07:17,943 And you don't have to face the thing 164 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,263 all us seniors fear about pools: 165 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:23,432 trying to peel off a wet bathing suit. 166 00:07:23,434 --> 00:07:25,451 - I'll try that. - Give me one of those noodles. 167 00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,308 Dad, maybe Noodleball is what will make 168 00:07:33,385 --> 00:07:35,294 the Simpson name live forever. 169 00:07:35,296 --> 00:07:38,572 A legacy that we created together. 170 00:07:38,649 --> 00:07:41,242 I'll jelly to that. 171 00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:48,232 _ 172 00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:50,751 Springfield's golden-agers are lining up 173 00:07:50,828 --> 00:07:52,235 to go six feet under... 174 00:07:52,313 --> 00:07:54,496 in empty swimming pools. 175 00:07:54,573 --> 00:07:56,740 So how does this piscine pastime work? 176 00:07:56,817 --> 00:07:58,759 If you hit the ball past your opponents 177 00:07:58,836 --> 00:08:00,761 and it bounces back to you, 178 00:08:00,838 --> 00:08:02,763 that's a roundsie: one point. 179 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,007 Your opponents are trying to block the roundsie 180 00:08:05,159 --> 00:08:06,934 and hit it back to score their own point. 181 00:08:07,011 --> 00:08:09,270 Play until three balls get knocked out of the pool, 182 00:08:09,346 --> 00:08:12,589 and then everyone can check their phone for ten minutes. 183 00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:14,442 So dive on in to Noodleball 184 00:08:14,518 --> 00:08:18,671 and drown the dog days of summer in the deep end of fun. 185 00:08:18,673 --> 00:08:21,097 Speaking of dogs, let's meet the spaniel 186 00:08:21,175 --> 00:08:24,243 who's predicted every Super Bowl wrong. 187 00:08:33,871 --> 00:08:35,020 A perfect roundsie! 188 00:08:35,022 --> 00:08:36,371 We win again! 189 00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:38,040 Since you've been playing Noodleball, 190 00:08:38,116 --> 00:08:41,043 your weight gain has plateaued. 191 00:08:41,119 --> 00:08:45,380 If you keep this up, you could not gain 50 pounds. 192 00:08:45,457 --> 00:08:48,867 Dad, look what just came up on Wiccapedia. 193 00:08:48,869 --> 00:08:50,293 Hmm. 194 00:08:50,371 --> 00:08:52,871 The world is noticing the Simpsons... 195 00:08:52,873 --> 00:08:54,223 in a good way. 196 00:08:54,299 --> 00:08:55,799 Look at these seniors, 197 00:08:55,818 --> 00:08:58,152 playing like there is a tomorrow. 198 00:09:22,069 --> 00:09:23,752 Dad, Grampa, we have 199 00:09:23,754 --> 00:09:25,179 a problem at the south pool! 200 00:09:25,256 --> 00:09:27,664 Oh, another old person three-way? 201 00:09:27,742 --> 00:09:28,907 Just hose 'em out of there. 202 00:09:28,909 --> 00:09:30,017 Worse! 203 00:09:30,094 --> 00:09:32,094 Out of the pool, noodle heads. 204 00:09:32,170 --> 00:09:34,337 It's summer, and the kids want to swim. 205 00:09:34,415 --> 00:09:36,190 Go jump in the lake, water baby. 206 00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:38,025 You're in Noodleball country. 207 00:09:38,102 --> 00:09:41,270 Even the very tall need a place to swim. 208 00:09:41,346 --> 00:09:44,532 And our children need to cool off in the hot summer. 209 00:09:44,683 --> 00:09:48,202 Won't everyone please not think about the children? 210 00:09:54,435 --> 00:09:57,545 Don't worry, there's other pools in this town. 211 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,959 Hey, we were here first. 212 00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:05,636 Talk to the tag. 213 00:10:07,557 --> 00:10:08,889 Vape 'em out! 214 00:10:10,801 --> 00:10:12,134 It's cotton candy bubble gum. 215 00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,635 Don't breathe it in. 216 00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:20,401 We're losing pools all over town. 217 00:10:20,477 --> 00:10:23,070 What if we try to take over some pickleball courts? 218 00:10:23,072 --> 00:10:25,631 No, those Wiffle Ball whackers are psycho. 219 00:10:25,649 --> 00:10:28,483 They killed tennis without even breaking a sweat. 220 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:31,728 Dad, there's a new section on your Wiccapedia page. 221 00:10:31,806 --> 00:10:33,972 Controversies. 222 00:10:33,974 --> 00:10:35,824 There's a petition to ban Noodleball, 223 00:10:35,826 --> 00:10:37,585 "which has antagonized swimmers, 224 00:10:37,661 --> 00:10:40,737 scuba practicers, and frat house cannonballers." 225 00:10:40,815 --> 00:10:42,648 Aw, that's all the thought leaders. 226 00:10:42,650 --> 00:10:45,150 We can't let Noodleball end up a failed sport, 227 00:10:45,152 --> 00:10:47,243 like racquetball or soccer. 228 00:10:47,321 --> 00:10:49,822 Our father-son legacy is in danger. 229 00:10:49,824 --> 00:10:51,581 We got to do something. 230 00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:53,659 Think! Think! 231 00:10:53,661 --> 00:10:54,935 Hit harder! 232 00:10:55,012 --> 00:10:56,270 Homer, Abe. 233 00:10:56,347 --> 00:10:58,513 There's someone here who wants to see you. 234 00:10:58,590 --> 00:11:01,257 I let him in because he's wearing a suit. 235 00:11:01,335 --> 00:11:03,259 Gentlemen, I'm Gabriel Razelton. 236 00:11:03,337 --> 00:11:05,095 People call me "The Raz." 237 00:11:05,172 --> 00:11:06,780 But you shouldn't because I hate it. 238 00:11:06,857 --> 00:11:09,099 I represent a consortium of companies that can help 239 00:11:09,176 --> 00:11:12,527 Noodleball not only survive but thrive. 240 00:11:12,604 --> 00:11:14,346 What consortium? 241 00:11:14,348 --> 00:11:17,866 I can tell you, or I can show you. 242 00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:19,868 Uh, give us a minute. 243 00:11:19,945 --> 00:11:21,703 Well, what do you think? I'm all for show. 244 00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:23,297 No, I think we should do tell. 245 00:11:23,374 --> 00:11:25,540 - Let him show it... - No, I prefer he'd tell it... 246 00:11:26,278 --> 00:11:28,043 _ 247 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,970 Okay, we want you to tell us. 248 00:11:30,047 --> 00:11:32,865 No, you idiot, we decided show! 249 00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:35,050 Oh, just give us one more huddle. 250 00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:37,703 Show! It was always show! 251 00:11:37,705 --> 00:11:40,147 The avocado, or as some call it, 252 00:11:40,224 --> 00:11:41,874 the alligator pear. 253 00:11:41,876 --> 00:11:43,317 Simple, natural, 254 00:11:43,394 --> 00:11:46,153 a little nutty, just like Noodleball. 255 00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:48,730 "Avi-cado"? Never heard of it. 256 00:11:48,807 --> 00:11:51,884 The only green thing I eat is Marge's Mountain Dew pudding. 257 00:11:51,886 --> 00:11:53,902 Mm, oh. 258 00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,997 That glop's easy on the gums. 259 00:11:57,074 --> 00:11:58,740 It is pretty creamy. 260 00:11:58,817 --> 00:12:01,001 Are you sure it isn't lard? 261 00:12:01,078 --> 00:12:02,336 Absolutely. 262 00:12:02,413 --> 00:12:04,487 You can see why we at the Organic Pit-based 263 00:12:04,565 --> 00:12:06,340 Enjoyment Council think that avocados 264 00:12:06,417 --> 00:12:08,917 are the perfect sponsor for Noodleball. 265 00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,752 Can you get us our pools back? 266 00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:12,971 Oh, I can do better than that. 267 00:12:16,744 --> 00:12:17,834 I give you... 268 00:12:17,912 --> 00:12:20,020 the future of Noodleball. 269 00:12:20,097 --> 00:12:22,172 This is the Avo-1 Noodleplex, 270 00:12:22,249 --> 00:12:24,249 featuring eight state-of-the-art, 271 00:12:24,251 --> 00:12:26,268 - empty, never-swum-in pools. - Hmm. 272 00:12:26,344 --> 00:12:27,861 Now, I hope you don't mind, 273 00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:29,604 but we've put a statue of you and Grampa 274 00:12:29,681 --> 00:12:30,847 right at the entrance. 275 00:12:31,515 --> 00:12:33,258 We'll be remembered forever, 276 00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:36,203 like that dude in the Lincoln Memorial. 277 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,206 We've got plans for all kinds of avocado tie-ins: 278 00:12:39,283 --> 00:12:41,875 oils, face masks, hair conditioners. 279 00:12:41,952 --> 00:12:44,211 Big A isn't just guac and chips. 280 00:12:47,775 --> 00:12:49,717 Is this guy always so funny? 281 00:12:51,445 --> 00:12:53,178 I don't know. 282 00:12:54,873 --> 00:12:56,890 So, can we make this deal happen 283 00:12:57,042 --> 00:12:59,301 and raise an avocado toast? 284 00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:01,878 Oh, son. 285 00:13:01,956 --> 00:13:05,290 We created a sport that will live forever. 286 00:13:05,292 --> 00:13:07,901 Now, Grampa, we've got a PR guy just down the hall 287 00:13:07,978 --> 00:13:10,404 who wants to hear the story of your life. 288 00:13:10,481 --> 00:13:11,505 Hmm. 289 00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:15,984 When I was a boy, you kissed any horse that walked by. 290 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:19,304 And that's how I acquired my taste for hay. 291 00:13:19,306 --> 00:13:21,807 Homer, I've always been honest with you, right? 292 00:13:21,809 --> 00:13:23,475 - Right. - Wrong. 293 00:13:23,477 --> 00:13:25,827 I lied when I said Noodleball was for everyone. 294 00:13:25,904 --> 00:13:28,146 No one's going to pay to watch ancient athletes 295 00:13:28,148 --> 00:13:30,482 break their hips and have heart attacks. 296 00:13:30,484 --> 00:13:33,977 Our vision of Noodleball is for a younger demographic. 297 00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:37,155 You want to make Noodleball only for 20-somethings? 298 00:13:37,157 --> 00:13:38,991 Oh, God, no, they don't have any money. 299 00:13:38,993 --> 00:13:41,101 I'm talking 40-to-60-year-olds. 300 00:13:41,178 --> 00:13:44,162 The last generation that can afford houses. 301 00:13:44,164 --> 00:13:46,774 We have to scrub out every trace of your father 302 00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:49,001 and his gang of shuffling catheters, 303 00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:50,836 or Noodleball's future is blacker 304 00:13:50,838 --> 00:13:52,696 than a recently opened avocado. 305 00:13:54,842 --> 00:13:56,599 I can't dump Grampa. 306 00:13:56,677 --> 00:13:59,269 He's my father. We're like brothers. 307 00:13:59,346 --> 00:14:00,996 Oh... 308 00:14:02,699 --> 00:14:04,533 I'm sorry, but my dad and I 309 00:14:04,609 --> 00:14:06,201 created Noodleball together. 310 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:09,039 You're a man of rare integrity. 311 00:14:09,074 --> 00:14:11,784 - But I accept your deci... - I'll do it! The old man's out! 312 00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:16,879 _ 313 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,288 Homer, Marge! 314 00:14:18,365 --> 00:14:20,032 Welcome to the first Noodleball 315 00:14:20,034 --> 00:14:21,141 celebrity tournament. 316 00:14:21,218 --> 00:14:22,717 Pretty fantastic, huh? 317 00:14:22,794 --> 00:14:25,103 It's a very impressive tent. 318 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,597 Whoever ironed it knew what they were doing. 319 00:14:27,674 --> 00:14:29,324 Avocado oil Bellini? 320 00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:30,600 Get that crap out of my face. 321 00:14:30,677 --> 00:14:32,084 Now come, I want you to meet 322 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,104 some of the amazing youth-adjacent athletes 323 00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:35,421 who are competing today. 324 00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:37,849 - Blake Griffin. - Noodleball is the perfect game 325 00:14:38,001 --> 00:14:40,944 for retired players whose bodies have been permanently destroyed 326 00:14:41,021 --> 00:14:42,228 by the sport they love. 327 00:14:42,263 --> 00:14:43,947 Which is all of us. 328 00:14:45,266 --> 00:14:47,025 Ow! My spinning finger. 329 00:14:47,101 --> 00:14:48,118 It was supposed to be fixed 330 00:14:48,194 --> 00:14:50,954 after my third Meadowlark Lemon surgery. 331 00:14:51,031 --> 00:14:52,530 Homer Simpson, 332 00:14:52,607 --> 00:14:54,624 of course you know Megan Rapinoe. 333 00:14:54,701 --> 00:14:56,626 I bet Lisa knows who you are. 334 00:14:56,628 --> 00:14:59,629 Lisa Simpson? I love her Substack. 335 00:14:59,706 --> 00:15:02,782 If you're her dad, this explains so much. 336 00:15:02,859 --> 00:15:05,117 Thank you, Megan Rapinoe. 337 00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,695 Our targeted marketing to 40- and 50-somethings 338 00:15:07,697 --> 00:15:09,531 is really paying off. 339 00:15:10,147 --> 00:15:12,200 My whole life I've worshipped 340 00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,978 the false god of tucking in. 341 00:15:15,055 --> 00:15:16,629 Step-in shoes! 342 00:15:16,706 --> 00:15:20,567 Oh! I'll never lower my arms below my knees again. 343 00:15:21,969 --> 00:15:24,045 This is so amazing. 344 00:15:24,047 --> 00:15:26,489 I just feel bad that Grampa and the other old folks 345 00:15:26,566 --> 00:15:28,491 can't be a part of all this. 346 00:15:28,568 --> 00:15:31,435 Yeah, that's kind of a sensitive subject. 347 00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:32,904 You did tell him, right? 348 00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:35,390 You know, hard conversations like this, 349 00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:38,484 it's all about picking the right moment. 350 00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:40,486 - Oh, Homer. - Darling. 351 00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:42,413 - Homer. - My beloved. 352 00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:44,248 Are you waiting for your father to die 353 00:15:44,325 --> 00:15:48,327 so you won't have to tell him you totally screwed him over? 354 00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,405 - Little bit. - Oh. 355 00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:54,409 That alligator-pear-pushing parasite gave me the heave-ho! 356 00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,094 Doesn't he know we're a team? 357 00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:57,687 We invented this together! 358 00:15:57,764 --> 00:15:59,914 Oh, great, now your memory's good. 359 00:15:59,916 --> 00:16:02,266 This was the only way to save Noodleball. 360 00:16:02,343 --> 00:16:04,435 At least one of us can have a legacy. 361 00:16:04,512 --> 00:16:06,863 And you betrayed me for that? 362 00:16:06,940 --> 00:16:08,106 Guess what. 363 00:16:08,182 --> 00:16:10,533 Legacy don't mean squat. 364 00:16:13,688 --> 00:16:16,053 Squat?! Justify yourself! 365 00:16:16,088 --> 00:16:18,282 Who cares what people think after you're gone? 366 00:16:18,359 --> 00:16:20,210 You ain't there to get the credit, 367 00:16:20,286 --> 00:16:21,878 if they remember you at all. 368 00:16:21,955 --> 00:16:24,047 Do you know who Johnny Carson was? 369 00:16:24,198 --> 00:16:25,440 Nope. 370 00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:27,217 - David Letterman? - Nuh-uh. 371 00:16:27,293 --> 00:16:28,459 Jimmy Fallon? 372 00:16:28,461 --> 00:16:30,053 Now you're just making up names. 373 00:16:30,130 --> 00:16:32,113 Don't you see? You sold me out 374 00:16:32,115 --> 00:16:35,133 for a few extra words in your obituary. 375 00:16:35,209 --> 00:16:36,801 What's an obituary? 376 00:16:36,878 --> 00:16:39,879 It's where they summarize your whole life in one sentence. 377 00:16:39,956 --> 00:16:41,122 Mine's gonna read: 378 00:16:41,124 --> 00:16:44,550 "He was stabbed in the back by his son." 379 00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:47,219 A real father would support his son's terrible, 380 00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,888 heartless decision! 381 00:16:48,890 --> 00:16:51,741 Dad, someday can I screw you out of something we create together? 382 00:16:51,743 --> 00:16:54,744 You do and I'll destroy you. 383 00:16:54,821 --> 00:16:57,914 How could making a deal with avocados be a bad thing? 384 00:16:57,991 --> 00:16:59,565 It's a good fat. 385 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:02,585 Well, growing avocados does use a lot of water. 386 00:17:02,662 --> 00:17:05,663 Over nine and a half billion liters per day. 387 00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:07,590 What's that in swimming pools? 388 00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:10,075 3,800. 389 00:17:10,153 --> 00:17:12,320 And the transport of avocado products 390 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:15,473 endangers wildlife everywhere. 391 00:17:21,181 --> 00:17:23,514 Avocado oil is just using Noodleball 392 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,833 to cover up the bad stuff they do. 393 00:17:25,835 --> 00:17:28,445 You know, the way Middle East oil spent billions 394 00:17:28,521 --> 00:17:30,763 to create LIV Golf. 395 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,264 LIV Golf can't be bad. 396 00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:34,617 I bleed Mickelson's Maniacs blue. 397 00:17:34,694 --> 00:17:38,513 And now avocado oil is playing the same slippery game. 398 00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:40,364 No, no, I won't believe it. 399 00:17:40,441 --> 00:17:43,518 Not the Organic Pit-based Enjoyment Council. 400 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,462 You mean OPEC? 401 00:17:45,538 --> 00:17:48,965 Oh, "pit-based" is kind of a cheat, but I get it. 402 00:17:49,116 --> 00:17:51,375 I sold out my dad for avocado. 403 00:17:51,452 --> 00:17:52,802 Oil, that is. 404 00:17:52,879 --> 00:17:54,119 Green gold. 405 00:17:54,197 --> 00:17:55,722 Tex-Mex tea. 406 00:17:59,719 --> 00:18:02,053 I demand to play in the tournament! 407 00:18:02,129 --> 00:18:03,538 Of course you can. 408 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,982 You're on the cover of Avocado Aficionado. 409 00:18:06,059 --> 00:18:09,486 Oh, yeah, one went up my butt. 410 00:18:09,562 --> 00:18:12,471 Your partner, NFL legend Andrew Luck, 411 00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:14,048 is waiting for you. 412 00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:15,140 Join me, Homer. 413 00:18:15,218 --> 00:18:16,493 I need a new sport. 414 00:18:16,569 --> 00:18:18,720 My wife keeps telling me to stop moving furniture around 415 00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,145 and get out of the house. 416 00:18:20,223 --> 00:18:21,723 Andrew, if I played with you, 417 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:24,242 I'd secure my Noodleball legacy forever. 418 00:18:24,318 --> 00:18:27,528 But at the terrible price of supporting Big Avocado. 419 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:30,565 So there's another retiree who I'm teaming up with. 420 00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:32,567 My father. 421 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,344 We created Noodleball to keep 422 00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:36,420 old people mobile and healthy. 423 00:18:36,422 --> 00:18:38,072 We're taking our sport back, 424 00:18:38,074 --> 00:18:39,516 legacy be damned. 425 00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:43,244 And my son and I challenge your best team. 426 00:18:43,246 --> 00:18:46,356 Do you and this walking wrinklebag really expect to beat 427 00:18:46,432 --> 00:18:48,358 Blake Griffin and Megan Rapinoe? 428 00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:49,584 We're playing now? 429 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:51,769 I just had three avocado Bellinis. 430 00:18:51,771 --> 00:18:54,088 What is it with you and Bellinis? 431 00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:56,015 They loosen me up, Megan. 432 00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:01,538 Thanks for bringing me back, son. 433 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:05,266 Dad, we never played catch or tossed a football, 434 00:19:05,268 --> 00:19:07,192 but we have this. 435 00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:08,861 You're right, son. 436 00:19:08,938 --> 00:19:10,863 And that's why we're gonna win. 437 00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:14,199 We are this safe, low-impact game. 438 00:19:19,406 --> 00:19:21,282 Ow, my hip! 439 00:19:21,284 --> 00:19:23,393 Ow, my heart! 440 00:19:25,121 --> 00:19:26,954 Noodleball is no more. 441 00:19:26,956 --> 00:19:29,715 In its league premiere, founder Homer Simpson 442 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,569 and his father suffered gruesome career-ending injuries, 443 00:19:32,645 --> 00:19:34,887 ruining Noodleball's professional debut 444 00:19:34,964 --> 00:19:37,632 and sending avocado futures plummeting. 445 00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:40,726 Oh, my sport is dead, 446 00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:44,488 and the only guy who showed up to sign my cast is Andrew Luck. 447 00:19:44,565 --> 00:19:46,916 Ooh, I get the whole space. 448 00:19:46,993 --> 00:19:48,492 Mm-hmm. 449 00:19:48,569 --> 00:19:50,978 Cheer up, Homer, retirement is wonderful. 450 00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:52,422 You'll have so much more time to spend 451 00:19:52,498 --> 00:19:54,332 on your charities and with your family. 452 00:19:54,408 --> 00:19:57,985 Oh! I want a second opinion from Peyton Manning. 453 00:19:59,413 --> 00:20:00,988 I'm proud of you, Homie. 454 00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:04,583 You stuck by your dad and rejected Big Avocado. 455 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:08,162 Although if it comes in a salad, I'm not sending it back. 456 00:20:08,164 --> 00:20:09,254 I love it on a burger. 457 00:20:09,332 --> 00:20:11,357 Or just spooned right out of the skin. 458 00:20:13,998 --> 00:20:15,928 If we just swam in those pools, 459 00:20:16,005 --> 00:20:18,840 none of this bad stuff would've happened. 460 00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:22,510 Aw, but the water's so chilly when you first go in. 461 00:20:23,336 --> 00:20:25,747 Nothing good came out of this. 462 00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:30,701 This is that backhoe-renting weirdo's house, Amy. 463 00:20:30,778 --> 00:20:33,112 Oh, Andrew, you were so brave 464 00:20:33,189 --> 00:20:34,964 to testify against him. 465 00:20:35,041 --> 00:20:36,691 Mmm. 466 00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,468 Oh, my. 467 00:20:51,966 --> 00:20:55,151 Official Rules of Noodleball, section 29: 468 00:20:55,228 --> 00:20:57,153 if a dog steals your pool ball, 469 00:20:57,230 --> 00:20:59,138 you're allowed to steal its ball. 470 00:20:59,215 --> 00:21:01,140 All players must count up their meds, 471 00:21:01,217 --> 00:21:03,826 and the one with the most pills serves first. 472 00:21:03,903 --> 00:21:06,237 The pool noodle may be blown through 473 00:21:06,313 --> 00:21:07,646 but not yelled through. 474 00:21:07,724 --> 00:21:09,148 In between points, a maximum 475 00:21:09,225 --> 00:21:12,076 of three pictures of grandkids may be shown, 476 00:21:12,153 --> 00:21:16,005 four if the kids are costumed or in a school play. 477 00:21:16,082 --> 00:21:18,824 If a player's pool noodle comes untied, 478 00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,918 that player must call "Flopper," 479 00:21:20,995 --> 00:21:24,906 and the play is suspended until the laughter subsides. 480 00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:28,685 If the pool being played in has a separate hot tub, 481 00:21:28,761 --> 00:21:30,395 nice. 482 00:21:34,267 --> 00:21:35,917 Shh! 483 00:21:38,395 --> 00:21:41,354 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com